2012

The end of the world. It's not the most original concept for a movie, but it definitely does work for this attempt. The graphics are nothing short of spectacular. Watching our planet have it's once-every-half-a-million-year PMS fit is definitely more appealing than watching a significant others', even if the first almost guarantees your immediate death.

Is it worth your money? Well that question can only be answered by you. If you like movies of this type (think: The Day After Tommorow, I Am Legend-ish), then you'll probably like this one more; Unless you just like seeing Will Smith save the world again. I know I do - he's pretty much a regulation bad-ass.

Conclusion? [Almost Spoiler Alert] If Will Smith were in this movie the Earth would've been saved, the travesty that is the apocalypse could've definitely been avoided with his powers of... well powers. But it's John Cusack. So everyone dies. Go figure.

Read More...

"Get it honky!"

This is for real for real. This guy can dance. Everyone should check this out, and attempt immitation of his slick moves stat. Maybe get a laugh or two out of it too. Whoever you are, you'll get something - even if it's being creeped out.

And speaking of the word honky...


The word "honky" originated from the practice of white males wishing to hire African-American prostitutes in the 1920's, and going to the appropriate part of town while honking their car horns to attract the whores. Some versions state that the reason for this was that the white men were too afraid to actually stop in those neighborhoods, so the honking would bring the hookers to them. Others say that since few African-Americans could afford cars back in that time, the honking signaled a higher-paying white client and would quickly gain the prostitutes attention.

There are of course other definitions, but (as far fetched as this one is), it appeals to my inner comedy more, so I decided to post it.

PS. Yes, that means I looked up the word honky before I posted it. Shut your face.

Read More...

Call of Duty:: Modern Warfare 2

(( I Just Owned You))

Ahh, Call of Duty. The memories we have had together. Many an hour of my life sitting in a dark room in the most comfortable chair, drinking Mountain Dew, and eating Cheetohs you and I. I remember all the fond memories of trash talking racists and the urge to kill a twelve year old boy ((Im talking to you UberDeadlyMouse))

Just recently the new Call of Duty Modern Warefare2 came out. And as with its leading game Call of Duty Modern Warefare, it came out with a bang. There was a countdown and I assure you, I was counting down as well. At the nearest Game Stop that I had my copy reserved at they were oh too willing to put on a show for us Gamers. They had the army there. And I will tell you now and this is going to blow your mind so be ready. They had a tank.

Not just any tank.

A gaming tank. HD tvs lining the insides with all the latest video game systems. And all you had to do was sit in the pod. I seriously almost had a heart attack. I had also managed to pre-order the specail edition. (($150.00) which came with Night Vision Goggles. They are pretty cool, with your classic green set and gray.

GAMEPLAY

The game still runs rather smoothly, though I don't think that anyone was actually playing the story mode. Online play is smooth and the ranking is somewhat more delicate now. New guns and features make this game all the more realistic. They have also added a new thing that they took straight out of the story line. A specail OPPS mode. You and your partner team up to kill your enimies. You on the ground and he in the sky. A specail camera gives you the veiw of heat vision. You are able to see tanks and even the tiny dot people running around on the ground. And even something more realistic. Whoever is on the ground is equipt with a lazer that can point you in the direction of who to bomb next. What?

What Had Happened Waz::

Earlier this year there was plenty of drama surrounding the makers of Modern Warfare. They decided to drop Call of Duty as a Label at the last minute until some very good lawyers got involved. Many were a little sketchy about the new release because of the big flop that Call of duty 5 made. But as always Modern Warfare came through.

Five out of Five

\m/><\m/-knuckles

Read More...

Had any Chelsea lately?

Chelsea Handler. Jersey native comedienne is amazing. Gorgeous, ambitious, and down right hilariass, Chelsea Handler has captured audiences' ears and eyes for a few years now and her top rated late night show, Chelsea Lately (which airs weeknights at 11pm) has featured such high profile names such as Jennifer Anniston and that old bitchy model who still thinks of herself as relevant (can't remember her name).

PS. She also has two books out that you should definitely look into, if you like to laugh.

Read More...

Bow Down Daisy Duke

Ah, women. We're beautiful, we're fun, we're smart. Not to brag, but we've got a lot going for us. But of course, we do have our #1 universal achilles heel, and I believe we all know what that is. Some blame it on PMS, revenge on that awful boyfriend, being overly-stressed, but truth is, we all have a, pardon my lack for a better word, b!tchy streak. I'll refer to it as "The Streak" from now on. This is a tale of one of mine....

High school. Need I say more? Why on earth would I date a sophomore when I was a SENIOR?!?! idk, maybe I was feeling a little Demi Moore-esque, but this certain guy was no Ashton Kutcher. His name was Hunter, and he was cute. I'll give him that. You know, he was muscular. He didn't look much like a sophomore in the body, but he definitely still had a baby-face. This particular boy was the average young player. Hunter was the type to date girls and leave them at the drop of a hat. He did it to quite a few of the younger girls I knew. Not only that but he hit on EVERYONE. It got annoying. So "The Streak" decided it wanted to come out and have some fun. It told me that we were going to play a little game. HIS game. We would lead him on, make him want me. We would date him. We would leave him. Sounded like a good plan to me! The plan was easy to get going, considering he was like a male dog humping anything he could find. Plus I was the "older, more experience woman." Let me go ahead and say this, I am a virgin. So I am not all that "experienced" in that since of the term. To him, however, it was new, uncharted territory. A chance to look like the big man on campus, with the older girl, etc, etc... So I took a while to actually date him. You know, wanted to take it slow. (Revenge is best served cold, you know. The slower and longer it took, the better.) I dated him. Kid wasn't too bad. A bit of a perv, and WAYYYY too easily excited, if you know what I mean, but he wasn't a bad kisser, nor did he do too many embarrassing things. Then we became official, and I let that go on for a few weeks. Then, we got into a fight (provoked by me, of course) and we broke up. Then it got even better! He wanted me back. Exactly the way I wanted it. I had him in the palm of my hand. After getting past the whole angry time after a break up, I "forgave" him and we began flirting again. I mean, I sort of liked him, but this was getting hilarious. "The Streak" especially loved it when he was like my little puppy dog. I would look at him when he was ahead of me in the lunch line, and as soon as he got out, he would come straight to me, give me a kiss on the cheek, and go to our table and wait for me. He would carry my book bag for me, and get things for me when I needed them. As I said, palm of my hand. All the girls loved it. He was to me what they always were to him, a little pawn in this love-game (no, not the Lady GaGa song... geez). Me and my friends would sing a little song by Rooney that reminded us of it and made us laugh. It went "You don't know me so well, I think you know that now. I'm unbreakable. There's no need for fragile stickers. You're too young for me, but I can keep a secret. I'm in total control of the situation. Bow down Daisy Duke." Of course it all ended, exactly how I wanted it to. And then I realized, from the song, what was going on. I was the guy in the relationship. Had him in the palm of my hand. It was just like the Rooney song, where the guy was singing to the girl. It all clicked at that very moment. "The Streak" isn't just for us ladies, it just stands out more prominently in us. "The Streak" is in everyone, male or female. Just for some reason, when it's a girl, we're PMSing or overly-stressed, or something. When it's a guy acting like I did? He's a playa. A pimp. He's cool. The girl, well we know exactly what everyone would think of her. It just goes back to a very common double standard. A guy sleeps with every girl he can and he's cool. A playa. A pimp. A girl sleeps with everyone she can, and she's a slut. I'm not trying to promote sleeping with everyone you can here, I'm just throwing that out there.

So it's "The Streak."

Everyone experiences it.

Got a story about yours? Send it in to the site, and I may just post it on here.

;) Fun Sized

Read More...

Music Videos!

Here are some music videos that premiered within the past two weeks.

Cobra Starship:

Cobra Starship - New Music - More Music Videos

Leighton Meester:

Of course, the most amazing, Lady GaGa:

There are plenty more but these are the ones I felt like posting.

Read More...

Shootings At Fort Hood

" Allahu Akbar !"

These words were shouted at the top of Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan's lungs before he opened fire on the inhabitants of the medical clinic in Fort Hood. He was hit four times by a civilain police officer. On the following Sunday he was removed from his resperator at a San Antonio Hospital and still has not spoken.



His Job in the Army

Hasan's job in the army was to be a Phsychiatrist of Palistinian decent. While in the army Hasan was harrased by many people for what he he was, even though he was born in the United States. His car was vandilized and a bumper sticker reading "Allah is Love" and diapers were thrown at his house with the message "this is your head cover" written on the inside.

Many people would say that Hasan was a "home grown terrorist." Were the signs missed? Who knows?



The Victims List

Unfortunately the government refuses to release the list. But we do know that there were 13 people killed. A memorial was held for those who were killed.



So what does "Allahu Akbar." mean? "God is Great!" in Arabic. On a more personal note, not reflecting that of "Strangers with Candy". Why in Gods name would he want you to kill so many people in his name? In what sense does that make? I mean, is God just sitting up there with the Mobsters and Gangsters making a giant hit list of people, and then sending them to certain people on earth? I dont know. But feel free to leave a message if you know.

\m/><\m/-Knuckles

Read More...

Word of the Month

Disco Biscuit // [dis-koh bis-kit]

What does it mean?

Back in the glory days of disco and biscuits (the 70’s), the term was used as a colloquial for MDMA or ecstasy.

How can you use it?

Names. People’s names. Band names. Dog’s names. You could probably use it for an alias online, but it’s probably taken because the name just reeks of awesomeness. Shouting it out during height of sexual intercourse would just be hilarious, but then again, who wants to start laughing in the midst of that?

Ex) "Me and my friends went to a karaoke bar and we called ourselves, the Disco Biscuits."

It will immediately get a rise out of anyone who hears it (a good rise, it’s used as another term for ecstasy for God’s sake). Also bonus, if you use the term sparingly yet tastefully, you could get extra points towards your salvation.

Read More...

“What’s up dumb b!tches?”

… were the first words a New Yorker said to my friends and I upon arrival of the great city, yet they were not the last with profanity. New York City, I’ll say it again. New York City. The largest and probably most important city on this planet is a sight to see – and it is many things, but nice and slow are not some of them. I walked through the streets forgetting to breathe; I wanted to soak in everything. Experiencing New York through all of my overloaded five senses, and then some; I still feel I didn’t get the full taste of her. She is many things, and boring also, is not one of them.

My friends and I took to walking throughout the city, three of us had been there before, and three of us hadn’t – yet it still seemed (with the three that had been to NYC multiple times) that we were just a bunch of hicks in a big city waiting to be raped, or worse: ignored.
We were ignored though, time and time again. My friend J Mezizzle and I put the bait out there for some sort of attention – we are born to be celebrities and NYC (among all of her qualities, an eye for talent isn’t one of them) just held her nose up to us like she could still smell the Griffin stench on our clothes (mind you, the stench should’ve long been gone by then – we had driven 12 hours with a car full of smokers, riders with a tendency to take their shoes off, not to mention we had a lack of manners when it came to biological functions).
Regardless, arrival of the city was amazing. I wanted to live there, and fell in love with her. New York.

First Impression: Fascinating. Rude.

[Stay tuned for next segment]

Read More...

Curious George

So, I go to this party last night. It wasn't a big one or anything, a tiny little celebration for my friend/co-worker. The party already was a flop, consisting of::
1.) The drunken Birthday Girl
2.) a Lesbian
3.) 2 butch Lesbians/"Studds"
4.) A tran-sexual ((Who makes a very pretty girl.))
5.) A rather quiet bi-polar co-worker.
6.) A white boy thug AKA boyfriend of the birthday girl.
7.) and...GEORGE.

People came and left, but these were the main people at the party. At first the party was kinda lame. The birthday girl, drunk out of her mind, grinding on everyone and everything, then randomly getting upset because apparently she thinks that her boyfriend is cheating on her. ((this boy looks and talks like Sylvester Stalone.)) The drama was getting to me because well, I'm not a drama kind of person: I avoid it at all costs.
This is why I was happy to see George at the party. Me and everyone else at the party were pretty cool. But him and I were closer friends and could conversate about something else. I hadn't planned to stay, but George begged me not to leave him there alone with all of those people. We then decide that we are going to go to Mcdonalds. We take one of the Studds with us.
Half-way down the road, I realize how drunk George has become. He then pulls out two more beers from his pockets. I begin to think things over.
1.) I'm pretty sure this guy isn't 21
2.) Will I get into trouble because he isn't and I am?
3.) Open beer in the car = BAD
My guard is immediately up. He's laughing, having a good time, and I have become quiet, concentrating on driving more normal than anyone else so a police officer doesnt have the sudden need to pull over this little Escort. I then I hear this from my passenger seat.
George:: You are so cool man. Im glad that we got to hang out tonight.
I smile at his drunken slurs and stupidity.
George:: Oh man, you're going to get mad at what Im about to do.
Me:: You better not throw up in my car!
As soon as my head turns he lands a slobbery mess of a kiss on me.
I mean really?!!! This is bad because::
1.) I'm engaged.
2.) I didn't even know he liked me because he was sleeping with some other girl at our job.
3.) I seriously have to work with him the next day.
4.) I need to go home.
I take them to Walmart to get some Mcdonalds as he pounds drunk kiss after drunk kiss on my cheek. I was like a ninja, as long as he didnt get to my mouth, I would be okay.
We get back and he decides that he's going to confess his love for me to everyone at the party. I want to leave, but Birthday girl begs me to take her to the gas station for ciggarettes, I take her and my sick love puppy comes with us.
1.) He tries to fight a friend of mine because he huged me.
2.) My friend is a black belt.
3.) He decides he wants to bite BDAY girls finger
4.) While driving, he is determined to kiss my lips because I won't let him.
5.) We almost slam into a guard rail.
6.) He manages to knock the car into Neutral while a semi is behind us.
I take them home and leave. This is enough for me.
It just amazes me how the coolest of people can become a drunk monster in a matter of seconds. Im not against drinking, I am against these assholes who can single handedly ruin a party.
\m/><\m/-Knuckles

Read More...

"The Thunder Rolls"

Watch this humorous snack any time you're feeling particularly sad, or obese. I'm almost certain that in both cases, this chocolate angel Scarlett has it worse.

PS. Notice when she removes her socks, one is black and one is white.

Read More...

Movies That Don't Blow:: The Boondock Saints

"And Shepherds we shall be
For thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand
Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti."

This movie is considered as what some would say is a modern day morality tale. Two brothers, Connor and Murphey McManus, team up against the Russian Mob because they have been harassing a small South Boston Irish neighborhood. Oh, and did I mention that they believe that the Lord told them to do it? They only want to rid the streets of these gangsters. Is that so wrong? The boys choose to kill only those who prey on the weak. They have become local heros! Now, one somewhat strange FBI agent is in charge of bringing them both down. Starring:: Willem DaFoe, Stan Patrick, Norman Reedus, David Della Rocco, and Billy Connolly.



More Importantly:: I wrote this recent blog because Boondock Saints 2 has recently come to theaters. I was somewhat disturbed when I came to find out that this movie is only playing in certain theaters!! Makes no sense I suppose, because everyone really wants to see Toy Story 1 and 2 again even though they have both the movies on DVD and VHS. Really? But whatever. The Saints get much love from me!

\m/><\m/-Knuckles

Read More...

Ah, the magic of puppets...

TMZ has recently posted a section of pictures you will (unless you've been hiding under a rock the last ten years) find hilariously entertaining. They are famous people and their "twin" puppets. (Muppets like Kermit, to Sesame Street characters like Big Bird) Now, silly it does sound, I am not in denial of this. First step to my TMZ recovery, I know. HOWEVER, if you look at these pictures you will see the resemblance and it could make your day. They show Big Bird's looks compared to the queen of England. Also, they show Lindsey Lohan's resemblance to the muppet Sleeping Beauty (oh how we wish Lindsey Lohan would actually just go to sleep and not wake up until a prince kisses her.... Samantha Ronson will never be a man no matter how hard she tries, after all.). One of my personal favorites is Screech (you know, Saved by the Bell? Hey, don't judge me, I'm a 90's child) compared to Grover. And I seem to believe that Adam Sandler may truly be doing the voice for Count von Count off of Sesame Street now that they have tied the two together.

All the same, it's time you take a look for yourself. the link is:

http://photos.tmz.com/galleries/hollywood_muppets#22424

Enjoy!

;) Fun Sized

Read More...

"A Change is Gonna Come"

Whether the change is beneficial or not is yet to be seen, but today as I was touring the capitol in my tourist bliss, I was hounded by the sound of chants coming from the other side of the capitol. "Clearly this is my moment to make my move into politics", I thought as I barged up the hill. The chanting meant drama, and as I was selected "Most Dramatic" in my senior superlative, (class of 2007) I felt more than qualified to engage in this dramatic activity and gain national attention as a decently handsome, below-average height, southern gentlemen from the trailer trash town of Griffin, Georgia. Oh boy was I wrong.



They were scary. Yelling-red-faced-calling-the-other-side-idiots-at-the-top-of-their-lungs political activists, and I decided I would have no part in it, as I had not eaten that day, my blood sugar was low, and I was yet to become aware of Jessica's stash of low-calorie Glycogen tablets until later that evening when we were on the road, asking any decently dressed caucasion or non-jew directions for the nearest location to eat. (I made that last part up, we didn't ask anyone sh#t, we didn't even think about asking anyone; I didn't even think about telling someone that I thought about asking someone for directions to somewhere until I decided to write this).



What were they chanting about, is probably the question you have next in your mind. It's the question I would have, so I will assume it is the same for you (if not, just keep reading anyways). Mantras of "Kill the Bill" is what I heard, fear immediately gripped me, I thought they were talking about getting rid of the dollar bill (my good -yet often estranged- friend from the dept of treasury), but no, they were talking about a bill, as in the things that get signed into law by our President.



The bill was for health care reform, and the bill passed today in congress. A narrow pass, but a win is a win (a principal I strictly abide by, as I am an avid tic-tac-to-er who believes 2 1/6 X's is a clear victory versus 2 O's)



Whatever you believe, the bill is passed.



These are the changes:

1. Creates a government-run plan, or "public option," to offer insurance coverage to compete with private sector insurance companies.
2. Sets up health insurance "exchanges," or marketplaces, where consumers can easily compare coverage and rates.
3. Requires nearly everyone to obtain health insurance coverage starting in 2013.
4. Ends blanket exemption for insurers from anti-trust laws.
5. Provides federal financial help for lower and middle income consumers so they can obtain coverage.
6. Bars insurers from denying or limiting coverage because of pre-existing conditions.
7. Bars insurers from imposing lifetime limits on coverage.
8. Expands Medicaid coverage to more people.
9. Imposes a 5.4 percent surcharge on adjusted gross incomes of more than $500,000 for individuals and $1 million for joint filers.
10. Imposes penalties on people and businesses who fail to comply with the new law.



PS. I guess it doesn't always take a bitch to get things done. Hilary Clinton, eat your heart out.
PSS. I really took that picture today at the demonstration in Washingdon DC. So everyone else can SUCK IT. SUCK IT HARD.

Read More...